O.S.'s trig palin: What You Don't Know

This post was written for Open Salon in response to one trig palin had written about me yesterday evening.  I was compelled to set the record straight.  Those who read it on this site will undoubtedly be confused by it.  It was all tongue in cheek and meant to please the OS crowd.  If Open Salon is anything besides a writer's site, it is a social networking site.  I've already made some wonderful connections, and this particular one provided us with a new set of back steps as well as a new friend.
By the way, although I am sure it is obvious, trig palin is the name Steve Barber uses on OS....like I needed to tell you this....

Everyone on Open Salon knows and loves trig palin.

Okay.  Everyone knows trig palin.

For those who do, you understand.  For those who do not, you might want to think twice before revealing your true name and home address.

However, thanks to my impulsive resourcefulness, my husband and I know trig better than it is healthy for any sane human to know the insane.

But we had a problem.  Our back steps were collapsing.  It was a serious problem for me because they are just outside my studio doors and are my only recourse to our small patio and the promise of fresh air.  As fresh as it can get living in midtown K.C. anyway.

They say that desperation makes people do desperate things, and I have proven to be no exception to that theory.  Those warped and unsightly steps were having a major detrimental impact on my sanity as it relates to my ability to get the hell out of this house any day, at any hour, and for any reason and to do so from my own door.  I desperately needed an exit plan.


trig palin's expertise in that area was my ticket.  Of course, it was fairly obvious upon meeting him that the man had a few loose screws (many of which were used in the construction those back steps, no doubt), but he seemed like a good egg and after checking out his website:   Http://deckpro.atspace.com  it was clear the man knew what he was doing.  At least insofar as working with wood was concerned.  Ummm...Scratch that last reference.

 Trig arrived bright and er...um...early at nine o'clock on Saturday morning accompanied by his assistant, Nano, whom it was clear was the brains behind the duo.   For a man who stated outright that he is not used to having to get up in the morning until he was ready to do so, nine o'clock was like dawn to the poor sod; but he is a trooper and after two cups of coffee he got right to work.

Unfortunately, so did the fickle atmospheric conditions so that not long after the compressor was fired up, nail guns plugged in, saws and drills primed, the skies opened up in torrential objection.

This placed trig and myself inside the house for a well over an hour during which time I fed him bagels and coffee and let him peruse my portfolio while he feasted.  (Okay people.  Get your minds out of the gutter.  It was a legitimate portfolio.)

He asked me a lot of questions.  We discussed his music and watched a couple of his living room performances on Youtube.  For those who are not aware, in spite of his ongoing dance with insanity, the man is a wonderful singer/songwriter whose work is truly worth checking out.

But while we were sitting around the dining room table, I noticed that he kept fumbling with his cell phone.  Naturally, I assumed he had probably missed his shrink appointment or his group therapy meeting at Psychotics Anonymous and needed to reschedule, so I ignored it.  How was I to know he was secretly making photographic records of my artwork as well as my very movements?

And while Saturday was a wash, Sunday proved a very productive day for our trig, (he must have made contact with that shrink and picked up his meds.) and he, along with his helper, Nano, (who is hands-down the most adorable dog in the known universe!) worked like the madman that he is all the day long until the job was complete.

Nano palin

While I am now suspect of pretty much everything that oozes from trig palin's mouth, I must admit that he is a superb craftsman and is such a tenacious worker that I had to practically force-feed him a roast beef sandwich in between his nearly maniacal weilding of the nail gun, since he adamantly refused to take a break.  (No doubt the result of both missing the appointment with his shrink as well from guilt at having lied to me about the true reason he agreed so readily to do this job!)

And although our new steps are everything we had every dreamed they would be, having trig here for two days did take its toll on us.    

Bob and Susan before trig palin

Bob and Susan after trig palin

But just look at the end result!!  Was it worth it?  You bettcha!

I would hire this crazy artisan again in a heartbeat.....as soon as I am released from the rest home.